thoughts about being a "gay Christian"

Over the past couple days I read “God and the Gay Christian”by Matthew Vines and “God and the Gay Christian?” edited by R. Albert Mohler Jr. (a collection of critical responses to Vine’s arguments by several prominent SBC theologians, released nearly simultaneously with Vines’ book in free eBook form).

I am disappointed that the response from the SBC so fully ignored several of Vines’ core arguments. For example, I would have liked to see a discussion regarding the cultural shift in understanding related to human attraction (specifically that same-sex attraction was believed to occur for anyone when pleasure was pursued in excess, rather than being an orientation in which one either is or is not attracted to the same sex). They dismissed his points regarding enforced celibacy point blank without providing any response to his main point.

However, the most disappointing aspect for me dealt with a misunderstanding that I have seen crop up before – the phrase “gay Christian.” This particular misunderstanding has been on my mind for several years now, and this is my first attempt to write up an explanation of my thoughts. I apologize if this ends up being a bit “stream of consciousness.”

The authors land on the side of the argument that appending the adjective “gay” to one’s Christian identity somehow indicates a desire to cling to one’s sinful nature; as if to say “I am a Christian, but being gay is not something that I am willing to turn over to Christ.” This line of reasoning is particularly troubling to me as I identify as a gay Christian, and it attributes motivations to me which are inaccurate while completely missing my intention in using such identification.

Here is a quick first draft of what “gay Christian” means to me:

It means I am Christian. I ascribe to the tenets of Nicene and Apostles’ creeds and hold tight to the promises found in Scripture. My faith rests in the belief the God loves me and provided the means to be in relationship through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.

It means I am gay. We’ve probably had this conversation before. If not, ask me about it or read my previous note about proposition five from March of 2012 (wow…that was over 2 years ago…wow…).

It means that I desire to be honest in my interactions with others – I don’t want to hide the things I struggle with. I may not broadcast them, but I do want to live life with others and that involves honesty in the hard things.

It means that I bring baggage to the table when reading scripture and hearing sermons. My struggle with Romans 1:26-27 has less to do with whether or not I can have sex with a man and remain true to my faith – my struggle is whether the concept of “against nature” means that I would be trading truth for a lie if I pursued a relationship with a woman.

It means that in some sense I have reconciled being attracted to men with my faith in Christ. I believe that I am loved and accepted as I am – and that challenges me to pursue the truth of how I live my life. When I finally turned over to God the possibility that I would need to remain celibate for life, I began to have peace with being gay (and I began to have peace about possibly falling in love with and marrying a man).

It means that I acknowledge that this particular “thorn in the flesh” may never be taken away from me. I have no doubt in my mind that a miracle could cause me to wake up in the morning and be attracted to women and not men. My faith is no longer contingent on that possibility. For many years, I prayed that I would be made straight. I have often thought about leaving the faith specifically because I felt that I was caught – I never chose to be gay (which seems to indicate God made me that way), but God didn’t want me to be gay.

It means that I am particularly burdened for our witness to the LGBT community. I love Chic-Fil-A, but don’t want to eat there because of the militant response of the church in supporting the chain. I don’t feel safe at Cracker Barrel any more because of the backlash they suffered when they removed Duck Dynasty trinkets from their stores. Franklin Graham wrote in Decision magazine that Putin is right on “these” issues. In my opinion, Mr. Graham is either woefully uninformed regarding how gay people are treated in Russia, or he is broadcasting a message of hate toward LGBT people.

How can we claim to be speaking the love of God when our words and actions towards LGBT people push others away from the church and the message of the Gospel?

***copied from my Facebook account***